So, I’ve got, like, 4 hours until my new solo show, “How I Lost My Accent,” opens. I also have about 6 hours of stuff to do before then. Including – get this – finish writing it. So, why am I here, writing this?


One response to “Focus!

  1. You know what’d be funny, is if your accent came back during times when you were nervous, and it came back now, for your show, and you had to improvise new material for the show to make people believe the title was meant to be somehow ironic, but you could tell that nobody in the audience was buying it, which only caused you to grow more nervous and your accent even stronger, until eventually you were even using dialect and mixing up all your past-tense forms of the verb “to be” (“we was goin’ down to the store…”) until it reached a point when your accent became so strong that nobody in the audience could understand a single word you were saying anymore, and it made them uncomfortable and nervous and they looked around at one another wondering if it was OK to leave, which only further increased your nervousness and decreased the intelligibility of your accent until it sounded like you were just groaning out one long vowel sound without even a pause between words, if in fact there are even words anymore, but it turns out that the noises your now too-strong-for-even-you-to-understand accent were making were some kind of long-forgotten chant to summon the devil, who does in fact show up wondering who summoned him and why, and… crap time to go to work

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