Lord Have Mercy…

Here’s a live performance of my original parody song, “Hoochie Caucasian Man,” from last fall. Is “original parody” an oxymoron? I suspect the ghost of Willie Dixon will set me straight…

Thanks to Steve Skinner and the Natives for backing me on this song, and to Skip Naft for shooting the video.

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Best Birthday Ever…

My birthday was a few days ago, and I rode around town and took some pictures. Not on purpose or anything, sometimes it just happens that way. For example – see this building?

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Well, I’m no psychic, but something tells me that during the winter months, snow may occasionally fall from this building. Just a hunch.

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Since I live in a small town, I like to sit at Zele, the corner café, and stare at the scenery and say hello (or whatever) to people I know as they come and go. Check out the view from where I sat on my birthday:

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Amazing, right? Really, I’m constantly amazed, even after living here for 15 years, at how beautiful Aspen is. This scene was marred only by the sight of this piece of shit bicycle…

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…which, in all fairness, is mine.

I talked my friends into taking me to lunch, because it was my birthday. And they did. Here we all are, at that lunch. I made everyone put on their sunglasses because I thought it might be cool or funny or something. I was wrong on all counts, except for the “or something.” But still…here we are…

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But the REALLY amazing thing that happened was this: There were three of us dining, and when the bill came I ignored it, just as I’d promised I would. I did, however, catch a glimpse of the total as they were throwing down their hard-earned cash next to it. When I saw it, I let out an involuntary and embarrassing squeal.

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I mean, come on! Look at that! I nearly peed! There were three of us, and the total was $33.33!

It’s cool enough on its own, but then when you consider that it comes out to $11.11 per person…?! Holy shit! I asked the waiter if I could keep the receipt, or, if not, could I get a copy, and I was noticeably excited as I did so. A little TOO excited for a guy who only wants a receipt, if you know what I mean. But telling him why I wanted it would have only made things worse. I know that. And because I know that, I’m led to believe that I’ll be OK at some point.

And yes, one of the Arnold Palmer’s was mine. Pointless detail, really…

Oh, and do you know why it took me two days to post this entry? Because I had to scan the receipt, and my scanner was still in my van from my Fresno trip, which I completed over a week ago. Yep, I travel with my scanner. Last call for the Goober Express! All aboooooard….

Havin’ a Field Day

It’s my birthday today – as of an hour ago. I’m now 41. Below is a picture of me 31 years ago. I was an Olympic hopeful in many sports, most of them involving potato sacks. My dreams and hopes are all dashed now, of course, but I still have those ribbons as proof of my glory days. Well, I have ribbons that look a lot like those in the picture. Turns out you can pick up ribbons like that pretty cheap at most office supply stores…

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Jam Session

Here’s a short comedy video called JAM SESSION I made with my buddy Kevin Keelty about 10 years ago. At least we thought it was a comedy.

Kevin doesn’t have a blog, or else I’d link to it. He has created a blog for his cat, though, and I suppose if I were a better friend I’d link to that, but, well…I just can’t do it.

Maybe he, or his team of attorneys, will thank me one day…

Geek Cult Status

OK, I’ll admit it. I want it. I want geek cult status.

But the thing about cult status is that if you want it, then you aren’t really cult, right? You’re just another mainstream attention-seeking toady. So, with that in mind, I couldn’t care less if you go HERE and check out the most recent short film I’ve written and directed.

In fact, I kinda hope you don’t go HERE.

Really, I don’t even remember what we were talking about…that’s how cult I am…

Fresno Misc…

So, back home from Fresno and the Rogue Festival now, but I wanted to post a few misc. photos that I took during the trip before moving on to what’s next.

Let’s begin…

I was perfectly content to just lift the handle and wait, but after reading this sign I really wanted to pump.

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I like fitness and health and exercise and stuff, but the prospect of looking like this guy makes me want to swear off all physical activity.

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I’m glad to see that Heath has branched out a bit and no longer focuses on JUST typewriters.

 

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OK, so if you are making a flyer announcing the visit of the immunization van in your neighborhood, what kind of clip art would you choose? Well, the skipping, happy nuclear family silhouette, of course. Duh.

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I was perfectly content to close the door gently and carefully, but after reading the sign I really wanted to slam. Twice.

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And finally, a shot of me, taken by me, of me scanning old pictures of me (while watching myself in the mirror) and video taping myself while doing so. More photos of this nature coming soon. Lucky you.

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The Good Guy

(continued…)

I slept that night at the Glendale, Nevada motel. Well, in the parking lot. Specifically, in a parking space right in front of the hotel.

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Since I slept in the van, I didn’t get a chance to check out this newfangled “Color TV” thing that I’ve been hearing so much about.

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I went into the café, attached to the motel, for some breakfast. There were only two other people there, one of them pictured.

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While I waited for the server I read the rather odd story/sign on the wall.

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Rather than make you squint your way through it, I’ll synopsize: “I’m the guy who goes into a restaurant and waits patiently while the waitresses finish their visiting before they help me. I don’t say a thing, because I’m a good guy. But I don’t ever eat there again, because if restaurants want my business, they have to earn it.” Something like that. It is basically a short story that says hey, we appreciate your business, and we are just totally service oriented.

I read it. Twice. And then I realized that I’d been sitting there for about 5 minutes and no one had even said hello. I looked over and saw that the waitress was chatting with one of the customers. Not taking his order, just hanging out. Now, I’m not exactly a customer-is-always-right kinda guy. In fact, I like to think I’m way too patient. But there was just something way too telling about reading “The Good Guy” saga while the server ignored me. But maybe she was following the policy of the other sign in the café.

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Whatever the case, I got up, bought a cup of coffee from the store next door, and hit the road.

Drove, drove, drove…got bored and took pictures of myself driving….drove, drove, drove…

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… then stopped to check my email. And yes, I did find that I got a stronger signal the closer I was to the sign.

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Drove, drove, drove, and then I saw the welcoming sight of Mt. Sopris around sunset, meaning home is just around the corner. Cool.

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